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Trailers Without Pity: Thor

4 Apr

Some movies we do for Trailers Without Pity sound like a good idea at the time, but then we sit down to script and watch the preview over and over and it’s like, “Wow, this has really soured us on the whole idea of this movie.” It’s like eating little Tootsie Rolls until you suddenly realize you ate too many and you never want one again.

This was happily not the case on Thor, the superhero movie due out in May, which actually got better the more times we watched the two trailers that are out for it. It just got dumber and funnier and more absurd the more we watched it. I am hoping the movie retains some of that “So ridiculous it’s awesome” magic. (Not that I will pay to go see it. I mean, come on. It’s fucking Thor.)

So here is the video we did for it, which is one of my favorites that we’ve done. You really can’t put me and hammer jokes in the same room and not expect me to have a good time.

We’re figuring out the schedule for the next few videos but we are likely to do Cars 2 next.

Trailers Without Pity: Water for Elephants

29 Mar

In this new Trailers Without Pity video, for the upcoming period romance Water for Elephants, we take a break from aliens, superheroes and knife-wielding maniacs to tackle a Reese Witherspoon/Robert Pattinson movie. But then we found out that Christoph Waltz from Inglourious Basterds is in it and he probably wields a knife at some point. Win some, lose some.

As we say in the video, it reminds us a lot of a blockbuster movie about seemingly doomed romance and giant things you ride on. (In this case elephants, not luxury ocean liners.)

Next time, we go back to the comic-book-movie grind with Thor. Enjoy!

Trailers Without Pity: Scream 4

1 Mar

We’re not quite sure what to make of this horror sequel, this Scream 4 cinematic venture, which has a trailer that seems a little ripe and not in a good way. In fact, I daresay it might be overripe! Criminy!

I’ll tell you a short story about my bathroom.

My wife and I share a sink. There are two sinks in our bathroom but for some reason that has never been explained to my satisfaction, we only use one. The other sink is like a catch-all for clothes and junk. MOVING ON!

So this sink we share gets my shavings, my wife’s curly-hair products, both our toothpaste leavings, all manner of hair and gunk from picking up and cleaning the baby (don’t even ask) and plenty of other gross stuff that I don’t even remember well enough to recount.

Every six months or so, this sink gets clogged up and I have to go in there with a wire hanger and dig whatever’s backing things up. Invariably, I’ll pull up a giant black wad of sticky, tar-like shit with hair and a funky scent and I have to keep back my gagging as I collect it in a wad of toilet paper and throw it away, hangar included.

That’s how I felt when we tried to do a video about the Scream 4 trailer. What is this gunk we pulled up out of the sink and how did normal, human things turn into this… this… thing? Who is this for? Why does it exist?

That’s Scream 4’s trailer in a nutshell. My bathroom sink’s tar shit.

Enjoy our video about it!

Trailers Without Pity: Sucker Punch

21 Feb

Not much to say about this one except that I assumed, like I sometimes do, that something that looks so dumb and ripe for parody would be easy to make fun of. Then I started scripting and realized that the trailer was already so ridiculous on its face (and its fishnet-clad legs, especially) that there wasn’t much more to do than recount the silliness.

Not to say it might not be a good movie, but… OK, let’s not kid ourselves. This probably won’t be a good movie. But it might be interesting to look at, like a mysterious orange puddle in the street or a car accident where you aren’t personally involved. Let’s hope!

So, here’s our Trailers Without Pity for Sucker Punch.

Next we’re tentatively doing Scream 4.

Trailers Without Pity: Battle: Los Angeles

31 Jan

And we’re back! The first new episode of Trailers Without Pity of 2011, for the space alien invasion movie Battle: Los Angeles, has been posted on TWOP.

This kicks off our third season of the web show. We’ll be doing fewer episodes per season (12-15 or so instead of a gajillion) and taking breaks in between seasons so we don’t get burned out and exhausted. You can see our complete Trailers Without Pity Episode Guide with the entire video archive. That’s a lot of damn videos.

I like a good alien invasion. I thought War of the Worlds was fantastically terrifying and dug me some Cloverfield. I’m surprised there aren’t more movies like this. Then again, ask me in two months and I’ll probably tell you this was a huge mistake and that the market is oversaturated. Such is my wont.

We should be back next time with Sucker Punch in two weeks.

Untied knots

27 Jan

Image courtesy Grog LLC's 'Animated Knots' app

I don’t know if it was the vacation I took from work in late December, the fact that I just purged out my desk at work and moved to a new one (more on that in a sec) or just a general sense of delayed New Year’s reflection, but I haven’t felt this content, centered and focused in a while. It just makes me realize what a nervous wreck I was last summer and fall as I was galloping to try to catch up on major writing assignments at work (and at home) and balance it with a toddler on the brink of being potty trained and an infant in the house.

Whatever the reason, the last few weeks have felt really good in some weird, undefined way. The air seems scented with possibility and at one lull in my December vacation, my wife joked about how relaxed and laid back I was, something she rarely gets to see.

“Oh, don’t get used to this. Relaxed Omar will be gone soon. Say goodbye. He’s great, but he’ll disappear by mid-January,” I told her.

I think she may have cried.

The 2011 good mood is partly because a lot has been resolved of late. The Kirkus Reviews project, which started back in October, is finally wrapping up, at least in its current phase. I committed to write 50 children’s app reviews, which at the time seemed like a ridiculous, theoretical number, the kind of challenge a competitor at the Coney Island 4th of July hot dog eating contest might accept. I just didn’t think I could do it, no matter what the offer was on teh table. So I did it anyway.

Breaking it down to five reviews a week (and then, when even that seemed daunting, breaking it up to three reviews written by Sundays and two by each Monday) really worked. I turned in my last two reviews with a week to spare (we agreed to have 50 reviews done by the end of January) and I was lucky enough to work with a great editor, Vicky Smith, who guided me through the unfamiliar territory of children’s literature and gave my short write-ups careful, witty, knowledgeable edits. It was a good experience and I may stay on doing app reviews (but in much smaller numbers) for Kirkus as they continue covering the emerging digital book market.

The other major loose end was that, on my wife’s solid suggestion, I called up my contact at NPR to find out what was up. It was a great conversation and, as it turns out, my fears that I had been unknowingly put out to pasture and was unworthy of being on the radio anymore were unfounded. The stuff I do for them in the future will likely be different than what I was doing before, but in a really good way. I wrote up and recorded a segment for them that is scheduled to air on Monday, Jan. 31 on All Things Considered. We’ll see how that turns out, but it was nice to find out that the door hadn’t been shut on me. It relieved a lot of anxiety I was having (but was trying not to acknowledge).

In general, I feel an easing of tension, a lack of nervousness and anticipation. In the past, I’d have interpreted it as feeling that my life was boring and I was being unambitious, but lately, I’ve come to embrace having a little free time and room to breathe.

Meanwhile, my day job continues as usual (or, hey, better than usual). We’re already preparing for South by Southwest Interactive in March, but in the meantime, I’ve had a few stories in the paper. On Monday, I had a piece on the front page of the Statesman about an Austin-related lawsuit filed against Courtney Love. I got to talk to some lawyers about libel law and how it relates to social media. Read it if you want to know if your Tweets and Facebook posts could get you sued.

I also did a “There’s a Creator for That” app feature about “Animated Knots,” an iPhone app that is about knots and how to untie them.

I got quoted in a Huffington Post piece about the 30 most underrated tech innovations of 2010 and the book I wrote the foreword for was featured in a New York Times Magazine article and on an NPR Fresh Air segment. So those things were pretty cool.

Also did a short piece about a new order-from-your-seat technology at Austin’s Frank Erwin Center called Bypass Lane and on Digital Savant, I covered a little breaking news about layoffs at Junction Point Studios.

Next week, we start up a new season of Trailers Without Pity with our first new video since early November.

At work, I switched desks, which was an occasion to completely clear out my old desk (as well as the new one) and to wipe both of them down and get all the grime and dust and disorganization cleared away. We’re doing the same thing in our home office; January for me has been a time to throw old stuff away, donate whatever I can and think about how I want to live and work and exist in my space.

It’s been very liberating to come to work and not face stacks of paper and books and just schmoot all over the place. I know it might not last long, but right now everything fees like its in the right place, that things are focused and correct, relaxed, but poised to act.

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