Trailers Without Pity: Scream 4

1 Mar

We’re not quite sure what to make of this horror sequel, this Scream 4 cinematic venture, which has a trailer that seems a little ripe and not in a good way. In fact, I daresay it might be overripe! Criminy!

I’ll tell you a short story about my bathroom.

My wife and I share a sink. There are two sinks in our bathroom but for some reason that has never been explained to my satisfaction, we only use one. The other sink is like a catch-all for clothes and junk. MOVING ON!

So this sink we share gets my shavings, my wife’s curly-hair products, both our toothpaste leavings, all manner of hair and gunk from picking up and cleaning the baby (don’t even ask) and plenty of other gross stuff that I don’t even remember well enough to recount.

Every six months or so, this sink gets clogged up and I have to go in there with a wire hanger and dig whatever’s backing things up. Invariably, I’ll pull up a giant black wad of sticky, tar-like shit with hair and a funky scent and I have to keep back my gagging as I collect it in a wad of toilet paper and throw it away, hangar included.

That’s how I felt when we tried to do a video about the Scream 4 trailer. What is this gunk we pulled up out of the sink and how did normal, human things turn into this… this… thing? Who is this for? Why does it exist?

That’s Scream 4’s trailer in a nutshell. My bathroom sink’s tar shit.

Enjoy our video about it!

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