Happy Good Friday, people.

Not that I have any idea what that's about. This week, one of my editors asked me if Easter falls on the 40th day after Ash Wednesday or 40 days + 1 after Ash Wednesday. My eloquent response, as a Catholic, was thus: "Buh?"

I'm ignorant about such things. I'm not afraid to admit it. I never went to Catholic school, I rarely went to church and I never had my first communion. If/when marriage comes into my life, I imagine I'll have to go take classes, like getting your Catholicism GED. I'm hoping the test they give you is multiple choice and has questions like:

 

 

The answer is, of course, I don't freakin' know! I've said it before, but to me, religious terms are like being on a boat and not knowing nautical terms. Archbishop? Starboard bow? Wafer? Dinghy?

It came up again this morning when I got into a conversation where I had to admit I had no idea what Good Friday was all about. I knew it has something to do with Easter, but that's it.:

"Hi there."

"Good Friday is the day that Jesus got crucified," I was told.

"So they call it Good Friday? What do they call it when he gets stoned or has to wear a crown of thorns? Fantastic Tuesday?"

That struck me as so strange that you would celebrate that. I understand that since he was supposed to have risen back up after the crucification, that it's a good thing. But maybe they could call it "Good-in-the-Long-Run Friday." Or "Good in a Way That Will Make Sense on Sunday, but for Now It's Still Friday." Right now, it sounds like they're just being sarcastic.

Maybe the Romans came up with it:

"Hey! Did you hear? Jesus got cruficied!"

"Yay! Let's celebrate! This is a good Friday."

You see? I'm pathetic.

And it's not that I don't want to know. I really am very curious about all this. I mean, many, many people base their entire lives on these teachings. I feel like it would help me to understand those people a little better if I could at least figure out why they're getting holidays from work. I'm no better with the Jewish faith or Buddhism. I just assume those religions are doing fine without my meddling and questioning.

I'm not quite of the "Religion is the opiate of the masses" school of thought, although I can see how some people like taking a bong hit of it now and again. It's not lack of interest, I swear.

Just like everyone else, I want to know something mystical and wonderful and unexplained. I want to let go and let faith in something carry me and fill me with something other than the physical self.

For me, today, Good Friday is a day when I go to work, maybe learn a little bit about where the holiday came from, and then plan to buy an Easter basket for someone I care about.

So far, it's a good Friday.

 

---

 

 

The LCP show ends this weekend. You can still catch it tonight and tomorrow night if you're in the Austin area. It's good. Would I lie to you? Kids — we got the goods.

Also, a new recap of the "Nicodemus" episode of "Smallville" is up. It's where the whole cast goes nuts. Bo Duke turns into a beer-drikin' Lothario. Lana Lang is a slut! Pete finally has stuff to do! Go check it out.

And two more things. I wrote (what I hope was) a scathing review of a rancid piece of Shiz-Tsu poo called "Death to Smoochy." You can find it here. I also was disappointed by the new George Lopez show. That review is over yonder. I swear, I'm not always this cranky in my criticism.

See ya next week.