I'm traveling! It's early! No sleep till Brooklyn! Or San Jose! Whichever one is west!

This week has been a mad scramble to get to today, the day we leave for San Jose, then San Francisco to perform at Sketchfest. I feel like every moment has been an attempt to cram as much life into the days leading up, trying to get all my stuff situated.

Miracle: The list I left for the people filling in for me at work while I'm gone is nearly empty. I was able to get nearly everything done. So that was nice.

I dashed about and went to bed at 1 a.m. last night to get up at 5:30 for a 7:30 a.m. flight. Yeah. Exactly. Yaaaaawn.

Check it out: M.Giant and Trash from the clever and frequently updated Velcrometer came to town yesterday. I took them out to my favorite Tex-Mex restaurant, Azul Tequila, and we chatted for hours until it was late and we closed the place out. They had taken a circuitous route to get to Austin from Minneapolis (three great things from Minnesota: Prince, Mystery Science Theater 3000, the word "Minnesota") and were a little exhausted, but despite this, offered to take me to the airport in the morning. I wouldn't even ask my best friend to get up that early to brave Austin traffic, but they insisted it was their obligation as Midwesterners to do me a solid, and after some protest, I accepted.

So at 6 a.m., M. Giant shows up at my doorstep, right on time, while I'm still slitting around getting last minute stuff packed. (Items nevertheless forgotten: Sunglasses, watch, kitty litter changing; extraneous items brought: car lighter-to-AC adapter, Shaolin Soccer DVD, extra phone. Yes, I know. "Extra phone?" Long story. Not gonna get into it here.) I didn't have as much coffee as usual.

I want to be the San Francisco treat.

So here's what's going in my head today, a little random thing of any entry, and you all be sure to have a great weekend, okay?

... In our show, Kara uses crutches at one point and we were trying to figure out a way to get them to San Fran without actually having to buy new crutches. So she shows up at the airport, sans one shoe and using the crutches. She milked it all the way onto the plane and actually had them push her around in a wheelchair when she got off the plane. Then she complained later that her arms hurt from the crutches. Karma!

... Rented a mini-van. I have never driven a mini-van, but it makes me feel like the Dad of the troupe.

... We're on the same bill as Fred Willard (Best in Show, Waiting for Guffman) this weekend!

... When we went to Seattle, it was drizzly, but mostly beautiful. Here in San Fran it's cool and rainy. Blah.

... I've never made a list like this online, probably because I'm afraid to be so open on the Web. So, you go, Abbycat. It's not an entry I could ever write, but I kind of admire people who feel they can.

... I've seen Christina Aguilera naked more times in the last two months than I've ever seen any girl I've dated naked in the history of any relationship. Should there be a clothing drive, or some sort of tailor fund established for the poor girl?

... Drinking bootlegged tiny bottles from the flight of Crown Royal and coke. Mmmm good.

... Did I leave enough water for the cats?

.... Adrian and I watched some Monty Python DVDs on the flight on his portable DVD player and I showed him the beginning of Hedwig. I forgot how fun that movie is, but I'm not sure that he was too impressed.

... Christopher Reeve is gonna be on Smallville in a few weeks. Okay, I will never reveal who this is, but a couple I know once shared with me a really devastatingly funny Christopher Reeve impression. It's wrong and it's awful and again, very wrong, but I'm going to be thinking about it constantly as I recap that episode.

... Still reading The Lovely Bones. It's supposed to be this incredibly fast read, but it's taking me ages. I think I'm reading it extra slow and just savoring the language. It really gets in your head.

... Bush's tax plan: a windfall for people who pay huge capital gains taxes on investments. You and me? No. Very wealthy people? Oh yes. Does anyone you know ever get any "capital gains?"

... Joe Millionaire: It's like they made a show just for me. Who hasn't pretended they inherited $50 million in order to impress 20 women? I mean, shit. We've all been there, right fellas? Right?

... The battery on my laptop is pretty much useless. It has a short life to begin with, but lately it's taken to just shutting off entirely for no good reason, usually when I'm in the middle of typing a sentence. Then I have to start up Windows all over and that just drains the battery even more. This is a great laptop, and I love it, but it absolutely sucks on flights. If any of you out there work for Toshiba, can you go slap someone in the battery design department?

... More later. I'm having fun!

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Big pimpin' I have a game review running in tomorrow's paper of the new Mortal Kombat game, but I don't have the URL. Visit statesman.com and go to the Life & Arts section tomorrow. It'll be under "Digital" If you're in San Fran, come see our Sketchfest show. If you're in Los Angeles, go see Pamie's, "Call Us Crazy: The Anne Heche Monologues" at the Hudson Avenue Theater. If you live elsewhere, go see some local comedy. Support your local comics.