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Deitological dialogue ...


Vengeful God: That's it. I've had it. Come on.  Let me do it.

Loving God: Do what?

Vengeful God: For someone who's omnipotent, you sure are dim sometimes. I want to do it. End this thing.  Bust a cap in the Earth's ass.

Loving God: "Bust a cap?" What are you, Deity of early-90s gangsta rap?

Vengeful God: Hey, shut up, I created that phrase. And passed it down to my homies.

Loving God: So you want to end the Earth? Do you know how boring it's going to be around here if you do that?

Vengeful God: I don't care. I've had enough. Did you see what they did over there?

Loving God: See it? Of course I saw it. I saw it before it happened.

Vengeful God: So why didn't you stop it?

Loving God: I believe we talked about this already back around the year, oh, I don't know, ZERO!

Vengeful God: How can you stand it? All this hate and destruction. This little experiment failed, okay? Can't you just accept it?

Loving God: I see past all that. Good things can come of this.

Vengeful God: (Snort)

Loving God: Stop it.

Vengeful God: "Good things can come of it?" Who are you, Martha Stewart? You think you can just put a little bow on this, use your omniscient glue gun, and all of a sudden all this mass death will be worth something?

Loving God: First off, you're the one who made Martha Stewart. Second, yes. You'll see. There is value in even this.

Vengeful God:  Like what?

Loving God: Like maybe people will stop taking their lives for granted. Maybe people will cherish their love, their freedom. They'll treat each other better and learn that there are consequences to hate. And maybe Jerry Bruckheimer will stop making movies with so many explosions.

Vengeful God: They're already hating again. It only took them three days to return to their ignorant spiteful ways.   And lay off my boy Jerry.

Loving God: Not all of them.  Many of them will remember. And they'll go forward, remembering the pain and the hurt.  They'll better themselves.

Vengeful God: There you go. Always making excuses for them. Don't you want to just smite them a little? I mean, not just for this.

Loving God: For what, then?

Vengeful God:  For what? For what? Look at them! Child porn. Terrorism. Racism.  The MTV Music Video Awards.  They're barely human anymore!


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