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2018: Bulldoze; 2019: Foundation

2 Jan

 

2018 was my hardest year, the biggest year of change, the one where even my closest friends and family kept asking, “Are you OK? How are you handling all this?”

But it was also an incredibly rewarding year with lots of love and laughter; that’s the part a lot of us forget when we describe what a garbage year it was, that there were still so many wonderful moments to be thankful for.

I am thankful that after leaving a job of 21 years, the fears I had of not being able to support myself financially were unfounded. People came out of the woodwork to help me and to work with me and to open new doors for me and I worked hard to keep those doors open.

I am thankful that my daughters are healthy and growing and becoming wonderful, talented people that I love spending time with. And I’m thankful that I’m loved even when I’m not feeling very lovable or worthy.

There are a lot of things I’ll miss about my life before 2018, but this new path has been so unexpected and exciting, full of offers and new projects and love I could never have imagined for myself. I’m optimistic that will continue.

My incredibly prescient word for 2018 was “Bulldoze.”

For 2019, it’s “Foundation.” I hope that I can keep building a great life for myself and the people I love this year.

At ‘One Page Salon’

16 Nov

 

This is a piece I read in front of an audience at last week’s “One Page Salon” at the North Door in Austin. Thanks so much to Owen Egerton for the invite.

 

It’s going to be all right.

I can tell from your face that you’re not so sure if that’s true, so this is supposed to be reassuring. It’s all right. You’re going to be OK.

Unless something happens. Or things don’t work out. That’s definitely possible. Things go wrong for people all the time. They make a wrong turn, some barely-there decision, and suddenly they’re neck deep in manure. Not real manure, figurative manure. Do you know much manure you’re need for it to be up to your neck in literal manure? Even if you’re short? That sounds expensive. And trust me, you don’t have money to be spending on that right now.

Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean you can’t afford shit. I just meant you probably shouldn’t be spending money right now on THAT MUCH SHIT.

We’re getting way off track here.

So. Things seem a little weird. I get that. Maybe recapping will help.

You got divorced. Pretty quickly. After being married a really long time. That has to be jarring. The not-being married part. And you bought a house. Buying a house is a huge, ridonk headache, but you did it and now you live in that house and it even has pretty plants and a beautiful patio. Well done.

But then you stopped co-hosting a podcast you loved, one you’d been doing for five years and that stung a little. And, related: you stopped doing the podcast because you took a buyout and left a job you’d been at for 21 years. 21 years! That’s half your life! Wow! And now you’re freelancing, which is a very nice way of saying you’re an unemployed writer. Self-employed. Self-employed sounds better than unemployed or underemployed.

That’s lot of stuff that happened. And see, I think the problem — not that there’s a problem, things will be fine! — is that most people deal with stuff like that over a period of a few years, but you went and did all that in like three months. Some people have a mid-life crisis, you had … like… a midlife Cuban Missile Crisis.

But it’s going to be OK. Unless it’s not, but let’s not think about that.

You’re worried about money, but that’s never been your problem. You hustle, you work hard, you’ll make do. You’re worried that you don’t know what to do next. But remember all those days you sat in an office wishing you weren’t sitting there and feeling like you were wasting your time? At least you can waste your time on your own couch now. That’s an improvement, right?

You’re worried that you have stopped doing the thing that defined you, that everybody knew you for, the thing that gave you worth.

But what if it’s going to be all right?

And it’s just time for some new definitions?

At the Texas Conference For Women

9 Nov

Me and another guy standing outside a bathroom:‬

‪”They changed all the bathrooms to women’s.”‬

‪”That’s awesome! But… I really have to go.”‬

‪”Me too.”‬

‪”What do we do?”‬

‪”Well, don’t go in THERE. I know that much.”‬

‪”Maybe there’s one upstairs?”‬

‪”I’ll race you.”‬

H-E-B Thin Special Recipe Chips ranked:

29 Oct

1. Korean BBQ
2. Smoked Gouda
3. Smoked Brisket
4. Italian Sausage & Peppers
5. Skillet Queso
6. Pot Roast

I am available to freelance a 1,000-word article justifying this list.

The audacity

11 Oct

This just happened. I’m getting an oil change at an auto dealership. Reading the newspaper. A woman also waiting comes by where I’m sitting with two small empty water bottles and says, “Please tell me you’re recycling these.” After a few seconds I realize she thinks I work here. Ok fine. Understandable mistake.

20 minutes later, she walks back to me, without saying a word, and starts pawing through my stack of newspapers I BROUGHT FROM HOME as I stare at her. She walks off with two sections and sits down. She still has them. I was done with them, but WHAT THE HELL LADY?!

When people ask me what I think the best future business model is for newspapers, I will answer, “monetizing the silent acquisition of newspapers at auto dealerships by bored, presumptuous recycling nuts.”

You can read a whole thread about this here.

Slivermoon

10 Oct

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