My review of Dave Chappelle's Block Party ran in today's newspaper. You can read it here.

Racey.

Lecturely.

While I'm not 100% just yet, I feel safe in saying the worst of my sinus infection is over. The worst was when I had to leave work yesterday at noon because I couldn't talk, breathe or sit still without blowing my nose every three seconds. Even though I should have been resting, I went home and did laundry, washed dishes, bought groceries, cooked, watered the lawn and caught up on Xbox 360, just the kinds of things you do when you're not sick and feeble. But I also did some things that I think helped, including:

• Grapefruit. My friend Kathy suggested that and when I went to the store, I bought the biggest grapefruit I could find, a yellow-orange pumpkin that barely fit in the shopping cart. I didn't have honey, so I got the wild idea to top the cut fruit with Kahlua, and let me tell you: Kahula grapefruit is the next big thing. Fuck pomegranate. Omar's home cold remedy is now officially Grapefruit Kahlua.
  
  
• Vick's Vap-O. Aw yeah. That's the stuff. Just make sure you don't forget you have it on and put on a white t-shirt. I looked like the bottom of a paper bag of tortilla chips.
  
  
• Decaf hot green tea. So what if it's Lipton's and not your froofy Tazø shit. It's tea. It's not a dual-processor Athlon chip.
  
  
• Turkey meatloaf. I use this recipe from Epicurious and I think all that onion and mushrooms and garlic (I subbed in ginger garlic paste because I was out of reguler minced garlic) worked some wonders.
  
  
• Gilmore Girls. Watching two episodes back-to-back triggered my femmedorphins and released some sinus pressure.
  
  
• Staying away from the cats. I think they sensed that I was a swolled diseased man, so they left me alone. If I'd died, I'm sure they would have come and gnawed away at my toes.

So there you have it. Keep this handy for next time you're fighting a losing battle against your head cavities.

Because I have become the human embodiment of a phlegm fountain, one that unselfishly releases its bounty in vast rivers (see SINUS INFECTION, below), I find myself, in the middle of the night, going to the bathroom every few hours, to blow my nose, spit into the sink or to gargle with mouthwash to try to combat each encrouching sore throat.

The side effect is that I remember my dreams and stray nighttime thoughts a lot better than I would after an uniterrupted REM cycle. Last night, I dreamed that I went to several pages of Myspace friends and left really sweet, kind comments about what a great person they are and how they vastly enriched my life by my knowing them.

It's 5 p.m. the next day and I've yet to make a single one of those comments a reality, leading me to believe that I'm a much sweeter, nicer person on my back, asleep, at night.

Awake Omar seems like kind of a dick.

Having ruled out my usual allergies and the flu, which would knock me off my feet, I think it's safe to assume that I am suffering from a nasty sinus infection.

Dammit.

Bullshitty.

We had a break from shooting on Saturday, but Sunday was my big day not to choke a second time on the "Citizen Quien" monologues.

All seemed fine: I'm off recaps for a few weeks, so I could buckle down and work on my lines. But then on Saturday, I woke up with an awful sore throat and after almost passing out at the gym, I figured I must be getting the Gallaga Flu again. I had no idea what I'd do if I were too sick to shoot. We had the location reserved, crew were on call and we can't really afford to miss too many more good shooting days.

Sunday, my ass was sore from the gym, but other than a slight sore throat, the flu I was dreading didn't appear. Instead, I just felt really congested, all phlegmy from what I now figured was just really bad allergies. I doped up best I good (Allegra-D + Flonase + prescription drops), did the neti pot and drank lots of water after my morning coffee.

I got into makeup still worried that my voice was going to sound tinny and nasal on-camera. Adrian assured me that could only add to my characterization of the "Bio" narrator.

Someone was nice enough to get me a hot water and lots of lemon and that got me through the shoot, which only last about three hours, a very good time bargain considering it was about nine pages of memorized text.

Today I'm still a bit under the weather, but I'm so glad to have that sketch knocked out that I'm willing to suffer a bit from having worn out my voice.

Oh Stacy,
Yeah, Stacy,
You choked in the finals,
Even though you were the best,
America loved you,
But not enough to pass the test,
now I'm out $300.
Take your long legs,
And walk your ass home.
Oh Stacy,
Yeah, Stacy,
Just walk your ass home.