We exchanged gifts early last night and this one was a stunner. The jpg doesn't really do it justice, but I was pretty blown away by my brother's present:

Hi folks. Happy holidays. Happy early, day-before holidays and whatnot.

I did a whole lot of shopping the last two weeks, thrown into a retail whirlpool I tend to wade in discreetly and typically spread visits to through the long year. And I heard lots of "Happy holidays" and "Merry Christmas," and for each one, I replied in kind.

Apparently, this is the year when we have nothing better to do than debate about which one is preferable or why it's wrong to use one or the other. It's not like we're in a war, or there's any political scandals or we have any major problems in our country that are more pressing, you know?

So, here's my simple solution. Works for me, might not work for you. I say "Happy holidays." If somebody says "Merry Christmas," I say "Merry Christmas" back to them.

What I don't do is correct them for not greeting me in the manner I'd like to be greeted. I don't harangue them for their well-intentioned holiday greeting. I don't begin an ideological debate in the checkout line or on the phone with customer service when a simple acknolwedgment of a simple salutation would do.

Mostly I do this because I'm not an asshole. I don't go around looking for a fight to pick with people as a way to vent my frustration with larger cultural issues.

So, Merry Holidays, to the patient people who put up with the assholes, and the assholes alike.

Gift cards and hot chocolate bless us, every one.

Bobbo and Meany are sad in a new Space Monkeys! comic posted today.

Sometimes I glance over there to the right at the Google Ads and it'll reference something I posted about a day or two before. Ads related to Harry Potter or dancing ninjas or what have you.

Today, it's all about toilet paper, which boggles in that people paid good money to get Google placement for their toilet or toilet paper-related ventures and businesses.

The one that stands out is Toilet Paper World, which I can only hope is as plush and as two-ply as the name implies.

They're putting together an encyclopedia of toilet paper, which is not as noble as, say, finding a cure for cancer, but still. It's a commendable pursuit, in some strange assy sense, and if you have a kernal of knowledge about toilet paper that they might not know about, I think you have an obligation to share.

Share a square, at least.

Not only is it the one of the funniest jokes (among many funniest jokes) on Arrested Development, but it also really exists.

Check out the comments, too.

Bobbo and Meany discuss a celestial event in a new Space Monkeys! comic, freshly posted this afternoon.

And over on the Digital Savant, I tease Microsoft in a wholly immature way.

If you bought a standard-sized package of Toblerone at the movie theater, it would probably cost you about $24.95. Instead, I got it at Target for a lot less and stuffed the triangular package into my inside coat pocket.

In the movie theater, I asked my brother, his ex-girlfriend and her brother, "Toblerone?" as I opened up my jacket to reveal the illicit choco-toffee goods.

I then had to explain Toblerone to them. They were asking, "What the fuck is that?" I allowed them each to break off a piece and the reactions were mixed.

I held onto the rest of the package and I will say this about King Kong: there was a part in the middle of the movie that is so goddamned exciting and overwhelming that I can honestly say, critically speaking, that it caused me to drop my Toblerone. It landed on the floor so loudly that the guy in front of me bent down to pick up whatever had fallen. But that's the beauty of the Toblerone package. Toblerone don't roll.

King Kong: It will make you drop your Toblerone.

I edited and wrote for a huge video game "Best of the Year" package covering all the major game systems for the newspaper. It ran in Saturday's Life & Arts section and you can find it online here.