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Thursday, November 25, 2004

Your Cheaters' Heart

You know this FCC shit has gotten out of hand when the producer of my former favorite TV show Cheaters feels his show is too tawdry for our times.

Incidentally, I stopped watching when Tommy Grand (Habeeb) walked. I miss Tommy and his manfriend Gomez.




Balls of crap (planetary)

We're so exquisite with the timing of new comics at Space Monkeys! that we blow minds with our cunning. Check it out: A comic posted just before Thanksgiving, when it's certain no one will read! Brilliance! I can't believe our Internet savvy. Just back up the pick-up and leave the big bags of money at our front door please, Mr. Comic Syndicator. Yes, we'll sign.

The new comic is about Bobbo and his not-so-mysterious origins. He's a sloth. That's pretty much it.

Also, I may be buying a car on Friday. I'll keep you posted. Eat some turkey. I've been meaning to tell you that you've been looking a little too skinny lately.




Tuesday, November 23, 2004

¡Viva el poncho de Bush!

Me gustaria a verlo en el cuerpo del vicepresidente Cheney también.

I think it's quite becoming:


Photo by Pablo Martinez Monsivais, Associated Press.




Cojo Kidney

I knew there was something wrong with that guy, but I wouldn't have guessed it had to do with his kidneys.




Bad to the Boner

New Smallville recap is up!

Sex Is Bad. Drugs Are Bad. And If You Have Sex And Get Drugged...You're Bad. -- Nope, that's not from Mr. Mackey: it's from Al and Miles, who believe that the best way to make Lex Luthor tip further toward the dark side is to make him a sexual compulsive who gets framed for a woman's post-sex murder. Also revealed: Lex has had some one-night stands. He's a very bad man!




Monday, November 22, 2004

Saving Thanksgiving

Action Gravy returns to monologue, but more importantly, to save a holiday feast. If you don't think that's noble, you haven't had truly excellent gravy.

It's rainy days in Austin. The gloom has finally caught up with us and everything is completely waterlogged in town. We stayed in mostly and saw a few movies including Ju-On, the Japanese original that The Grudge was based on and I found it about as scary as my own cat, which is to say not as much as others seem to find it scary. Rebecca had a few thrills with it, but I though the whole thing was just silly. It was a textbook example of how not to make a horor movie. Show your monsters too much and with too much light. Have people in your movie act scared before anything scary has even happened yet. Throw in a bunch of characters nobody's going to care about or remember 10 minutes later with no strong protagonist for us to identify with.

Much better was The Incredibles, which was like an Everlasting Gobstopper of cinematic pleasure. It just never stopped delivering the goods, past the main film and into the closing credits even. Outside, I heard some lady grousing that it wasn't as funny as Shrek. First of all, shut up. Second, it wasn't trying to be a balls-out comedy. It was a humorous action adventure with a lot more heart than either of the Shrek movies (which I don't despite; I just think they're miles away from the love that Pixar puts into its films). So, that's that.

Half-Life 2 is a dangerous game, one that can consume your life if you let it. I can't recommend it any more highly, but I also warn you that to take this game on is to demand very exacting things from your computer that it may not want to deliver. Once agreeable, though, your computer will show you such sights that you'll almost be ashamed to continue; you'll feel like such a beatiful thing must be illicit or rotten in some way. But you'll be hard pressed to find the worm in this apple.




 

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