Goddamnfucking4:30a.m.specscriptshit.

Omar: (STRETCH!) (Yawn!)

Golluomar: You should have slepted.

Omar: Shut up.

Gulluomar: Nobody likes you.

Omar: I said shut up!

Golluomar: You see that DVDs on your deskeses? They sent you The Life of David Gale. They're trying to push you over the edge.

Omar: It's just a career misstep for all involved! There are plenty of other bad movies!

Golluomar: The only remotely positives thingses they could find to put on the cover was a quoteses from "Access Hollywoods!"

Omar: (Awful squealing noise. Holds hands to ears.) Leave me alone!

Golluomar: No!

Omar: I'm going to call one of my friends to come help me kill you.

Golluomar: You don't have any friends!

Omar: Shit.

Golluomar: Why don't you just sleeeeeeep. Right now. On the deskseses.

Omar: I'll get fired!

Golluomar: Noooooo you won't. I'll keep a lookout.

Omar: (crying) Why are you doing this to me?

Golluomar: We have to sleepsies. (sing-songy) Stay up lates, sleeps at works! Stay up lates, sleeps at works!

Omar: Oh, god. What the fuck is that?

Golluomar: I made you a pillowses!

Omar: It's made of rock sugar!

Golluomar: Just lays your pretty heads here on the pillowses. Don't looks at the antsies coming towards you.

Omar: MEW! I hate you, Golluomar!

Golluomar: I hatses you, too!

Between yesterday's Supreme Court decision and the death of Strom Thurmond, I think yesterday was the Greatest Gay Day Ever. (Or "Evah!" if you're sassy.)

In fact, I think it was the decision that killed him.

In any case, yay gays!

Try burning the 3:30 a.m. oil. It smells like lavender.

I just finished a 53-page spec script in just over a week. This is clearly not the way to live because all I did all week was stress about it and put everything aside for it (everything except Legally Blonde 2, which was better than expected) to finish the damnedable script.

But it's done. I feel like Aaron Sorkin. (But sober.) I feel like I can climb a mountain! I feel like going to bed. Seriously.

It's done! I can't believe it! I didn't flame out!

I have no idea if it's any good. I'm sure it's riddled with holes and full of cheese, but the thing is done and it's registered with the WGA. And in the mail you go tomorrow, little bastard script.

Goodnight, folks. Catch you on the flippy flop.

28 Days Later: Really good horror movies are incredibly rare, so when one comes along that looks remotely good, I'm likely to go check it out, probably on the opening weekend before people start telling you the scary parts and things start getting ruined. Zombies. London. Monkey virus. The Trainspotting director. What more could you want? I remember seeing The Blair Witch Project when it was in a limited run. Austin was one of the first markets that got it. I saw it with Rebecca, and although I'd been reading for weeks about the film and its filmmakers online and on the wires in anticipation. I made sure not to tell Rebecca a single thing about it. All she knew, standing in the long line at The Dobie, was that the movie was some kind of documentary. It turned out to be a really fun, scary experience, long before the backlash and all the people saying how much the movie sucked and how not frightening it was. All I'm saying is that time is typically not kind to new horror films.

Capturing the Friedmans: By most accounts a brilliant documentary about mob mentality, pedophelia and familiy dynamics. I'm curious, but on the other hand kind of creeped out and unsure if it's really how I want to spend part of my weekeend

Charlie's Angels 2: Full Throttle: Yeah, I'll probably see it. The first one was surprisingly good. I just don't think I really like any of the three principals. I think Lucy Liu is kind of stiff and annoying. Cameron Diaz has turned into Bubbles from The Powerpuff Girls (sorry, Bubbles, no slight intended) and Drew is... well, Drew. She's very hit or miss. (I did really like her in Donnie Darko, though, even though she really didn't have to do anything but look sympathetic.) But I'm hearing good things about McG (the famously stupid-named director) and there's the Bernie Mac Factor.

The Eye: I haven't seen a lot of Asian horror films, but this one sounds good and the whole eye surgery thing is a horrifying subject close to my heart. (And retinas.)

Together: Yeah, yeah, director of Farewell My Concubine, beautiful imagery, piano prodigy... Life's too short and this sounds like it would feel about 10 hours long.

Whale Rider: Another really critically acclaimed film about indigenous folks and folklore. Which reminds me, I really need to rent The Fast Runner.

I'm seeing Legally Blonde 2 tonight. Wish me luck that it doesn't completely suck. (Hey, I liked the first one!)

Blogger, the Web tool for lazy compulsives, has moved all of its stuff to a new server and upgraded its services slightly. (If you an tell me what's the purpose of the new "Email" tool that looks like a notify list, but has no add/delete/manage features, please shoot me some e-mail.)

Like some of the cool kids, I've been hard at work on a script this week. It's a spec script that's part of the application process for something I won't go into here, but despite recapping, I've never actually written a lengthy script of any kind. The longest thing I've written in this form is for 3-5 minute LCP sketches. I'm using Final Draft, a program that I reviewed ages ago and never really used much beyond testing. Folks, I am IN LOVE with this program. It's fantastico. The script has to be finished and postmarked tomorrow, and I've still got about 15 pages left, so as you can imagine, I'm in a mad scramble to get the thing in gear. It hasn't left me much time for updating or telling my little New York stories that I'd planned to do here. The spec script writing process has been very educational, and I suddenly see the value of outlining. I've been really lucky that so far things have just kind of worked out from a structural standpoint considering I'm just writing on the fly with only the last act clearly defined in my head. That's only because the show I'm writing about is one I'm really intimately familiar. If it were for any other show, I'd probably have hit a massive roadblock by now and would have had to go back and scrap the whole thing.

It feels uncomfortably like writing fan fiction, which I've never done (except for one brief, wild episode in college when I posted a Mystery Science Theater 3000 thing I wrote to an MST3K USENET forum), but really it's the same thing, only with fancy "FADE IN:"s and scene headers.

I'm finding I love writing dialogue. The biggest complaint I've had lately with bad movies and, especially bad books (I read a novelization recently of something and I'm not quite sure whether to blame the screenwriter or book writer) is how clunkily the dialogue is written. I get the feeling sometimes that these writers never listen to real people talk. Ah, the dangers of living your life online.

I just overheard a co-worker tell someone on the phone the joys of living in the suburbs and how the things you'd scoff at as a city dweller (group walks, basketball with the other overweight, khaki-wearing dads, Boggle night) become things you look forward to.

Having lived in the suburbs for a year and a half now, I've concluded that it's perfectly all right to live in the 'burbs. You just have to have to stay childless and have absolutely no contact with any neighbors, ever.

So far, it's working.

Alex & Emma: I like Rob Reiner, and unlike most people who lump all ingenues together, I really like Kate Hudson. She was much better than you'd have expected in How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days. (The woman I saw it with amusingly repeats the Bebe Neuwirth line, "We're going to run an article about How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days!" over and over again to great comedic effect.) But Luke Wilson? He's fine and all, but... romantic lead? He's like Owen sapped of rakish charm and humor. I got to see him on Conan O'Brien Friday (more on that when I write about my New York trip), and out of the three guests, he was by far the least interesting. Hell, the guy who warmed up the audience was more interesting. That's fine for a movie like Legally Blonde where all he has to do is admire Elle's inherent blondishness, but playing a writer? It's almost impossible to do a good movie about the writing process, and based on the reviews, it sounds like Rob Reiner struck out. Maybe next time.

From Justin to Kelly: I never liked Justin much on American Idol and based on the "What? Justin's record came out?" reaction to his album release, I'm sure I'm not alone. Meanwhile, Kelly is kicking much ass and becoming a genuine recording star. I have a feeling this is the last hurrah for Justin's short career. If debuting at number 11 on the box office charts could be called a "Hurrah."

Hulk: Apart from the confusion among news sources over whether it's The Hulk or just Hulk, there seems to be a general "huh?" about the movie in general from critics. I saw it early and thought to myself that most moviegoers were going to absolutely hate it. I heard people grumbling when they left the theater and fully a dozen people walked out during the last half hour. I have very mixed feelings about the movie. I liked how it looked (even the creature itself) and enjoyed the split-screen comic-book-frame stuff even when it was wholly unnecessary. Yes, the movie was talky and long, which was my biggest complaint about Matrix, but I really liked Jennifer Connelly and liked what the movie was trying to do. But as meticulous a mind as I'm sure Ang Lee has, the movie was a big mess and felt really unfocused. I left the theater myself trying to make sense of whether I even liked the damn thing. This amused me very much, by the way. Make sure to click on all the comic book art links.

Love The Hard Way: Sometimes actors just have one role that completely turns it around for them. Adrian Brody was doing small, crapulent movies like this before The Pianist and it's likely he'll never have to look back. Good for him because he was amazing in The Pianist, but you never know — that movie could have been a total fluke and the rest of his career may be spent playing con men and addicts.

Owning Mahowny: Owning WHO? Philip Seymour Hoffman is just making movies by the pound now. If he doesn't stop, he's going to turn into Whoopi Goldberg. (Who is, incidentally, his photo negative.) My only take on this is that I like the word "Mahowny."

The Sea: I may sea (er, see) it just because it's from Iceland and any country that produced Bjork and Sigur Ros must be doing something right.

For those of you who aren't into pre-ordering stuff online: Pamie's book is out and has been seen in bookstores and is shipping from Amazon. I read it mostly on the flight to NYC (security lady eyeing my copy: "'Why Girls Are Weird,' huh?") and finished it at the hotel late one night. I'm completely biased, but I think it's wonderful, funny and a little bit heartbreaking and that you should it order it. Now. Get your copy here or here.

Pam also wrote about Tong's burning down. To say that I'm heartbroken would be a vast tundra of understatement. I will never forget the time I ripped the crotch of my pants while throwing myself on the floor to serenade the not-very-amused waitress with "Lady."

Fire insurance, people. We all need it.