A skit's being shot at my house tonight, so the entire living room has been rearranged to accommodate cameras, kids, lights clipped onto the ceiling fan and stacks of scripts. Adrian recruited a child to come play, well, a child, in the sketch we were shooting:



Towels, blankets and duct tape were also used to make a replica of the child. This will be in my nightmares tonight for sure:



In keeping with recent trends, the gas grill was employed. Cheeseburgers and hot dogs for all!

Okay, I'm better now. It was just a graze.

Going out dancin' -- don't wait up!

Snoop got shot at!

I totally think Suge's responsible. And I'm not afraid to say it, either, Mr. Death Row mutha-- (KERPOW KERPOW!)

Ack! I'm hit!

Foreign insults: The Washington Post has got your back on ways to piss other cultures off.

I would add ignoring the U.N. to that list.

You seem like a happy go lucky person. I have a question though. On the episode insurgence when Lionel gets shot. When pete and clark were investigating the crime scene, how can pete afford such a good car, but also loose a jar of quarters. Plus what jackass would where they buried it.
Plus I love the show smallville and hate Lana.
I mean if you see two twisters coming at you, why the hell would you get back in the car!
She must be dying for suicide.
And why is the WB trying to get more homo- then hedro- sexual relationships goin on.
That whole thing about Bo Kent 2.0
I thing if they came up with a Chloe 6.5 I would die.
She should get some powers of her own.
I'm you and myself by now so bye and if you don't right back I'll send a mad goat at you.
P.S. Brown haired twins on smallville. Clark gets hooked up. Lana dies alone! Woowhoo!

I really don't want a goat, mad or otherwise, after me. Especially if it's hedro.

Before I figured this blogging thing out, the only way to update my site or fix awful grammar and misspelling errors (of which there were plenty since I would write my entries late at night) during the day, was to use Web-based FTP. It was my only option since they took my copies of Fireworks and Dreamweaver off my work computer as well as Fetch. I preached the virtues of Web2Ftp to anyone who would listen.

About two weeks ago, they went offline, and when they came back, they turned all German. How am I supposed to use this now? What the Hell is a "Passwort?" "Programm?" I do like the word "Impressum" though. Like, "I made millions in the dot-com industry. I sure knew how to Impressum."

Another fun way to waste the afternoon is with Funeral Quest. I played this for a while, but when the game reset, I didn't want to commit to a second mortuary career. I also roped some people into playing Fantasy Teevee, but sadly I haven't kept up with it like I should. I think I'm losing.

Yahoo! changed their search engine today. Regardless of how much of an improvement it might be, it still annoys me because I use their site at least 10 times a day and now I'm going to feel compelled to check what I find there against what's on Google.

I feel like my parents just got divorced. Why, Yahoo! and Google? WHY!?!?!?

Have a seven-piece mariachi band play for you on your birthday. You will not be disappointed. I think a ghost somehow snuck into that photo there on the right side.

Also, give one of the mariachi guys a party favor and give the entire band some of your big birthday cookie. It will make them happy.

Ganked from Penny Arcade and discussed in detail with my bro:

How did they know this was exactly the movie I wanted them to make? Final Matrix theatrical trailer.

(note: this is not an endorsement of the cheesy KeanuFlying thing at the end.)

Our next LCP show is called Sketches of Mass Distraction and we've finally got some information about it up on ye olde web syte. It runs May 1-10 and we're busting our ass trying to shoot all the video stuff and rehearse the sketches this month.

In the course of shooting a Band of Brothers-style war video sketch that Mical wrote some of us ended up in old-age makeup. Apparently, this is what I'll look like at 65:

I guess I misunderstood how this thing works financially. Don't Blog people get big endorsement deals and stuff? Didn't I see Wil Wheaton on a Wheaties box (Wil Wheaties?)?

Nike shoes? Shoutouts on a Ludacris album? Nothing?

Suddenly, this doesn't seem like such a great idea.

When does that big Blog money start rolling in?

Speaking of the birthday, my parents and brother came up on Sunday and helped inaugurate the new gas grill. Gas grilling is good. Very good. I've heard of this mystery gas propane (mostly just on King of the Hill), but to see it in action, that low-burning flame perfectly cooking up chicken breasts, sausage, steak, pork ribs, all at the same time! Well, damn.

We lit up the citronella torches at the same time the grill was going and suddenly my back patio looked like Snoop Dogg's house. There was smoke everywhere. My eyes got all red and I think my mom started drinking gin 'n juice.

I've been feasting on chicken, sausage, rice and beans all week. One barbecue has yielded an entire week's worth of take-to-work lunches and evening snacking.

God bless you, propane grilling.

Was talking to Marcus about the fantastical Flaming Lips album, "Yoshimi Battles the Robots," which was generously gifted to me on my birthday, on IM today. How did I not pay attention to these guys when I was living in Oklahoma?

They did a thing where they had like 40 people with boomboxes play tapes of different parts of the same song and all start at the same time to produce this orchestral effect. And they did the same thing with a bunch of car stereos in a parking lot. Those boys are nuts.

Omar: Those boys smoke MUCH pot.

Marcus: Word... crazy mad, MAD pot.

Omar: Mad SILLY pot.

Marcus: Silly CHICKEN pot.

Omar: Non-stick METAL pot.

I'm posting way too much today. I'm sure the excitement will wear off soon.

House of 1000 Corpses: Just 1,000? Damn, Rob Zombie. You disappoint me.

Anger Management: I loved Punch-Drunk Love. I loved About Schmidt. I am not going to love this one, I think.

Laurel Canyon: Frances McDormand is one of the coolest women on the planet, but those movies where the parents are hipper than the kids and the kids are all repressed and embarrassed for their parents... God, I hate movies like that. If I wanted to see an episode of Absolutely Fabulous, I'd just stay home and watch it on BBC America.

Ghosts of the Abyss: Awwwwww yeah. I'm going to see this. 3-D? James Cameron? Bill Paxton? Okay, maybe not so much with the Paxton, but you had me at "3." Did you know Cameron's next movie-movie is gonna be 3-D? If anybody can pull it off, it's him.

I got a screener tape of Spider that I'm going to watch this weekend. I loves me some David Cronenberg. Naked Lunch and Dead Ringers just about ruined me in terms of having a normal teenage-hood.

The Reload button should be your best friend, a kind of traveling companion who keeps your water in a little canteen and comes up next to you as you're walking up the treacherous trail and goes, "Sir? (Or Madam?) Water?"

I think we should call him Guiseppi.

Getting this blog up has been a trial. A good trial -- I'm learning very technical-sounding terms I would have never uttered before: "Server-side includes," "PHP," "javascript disabling blogger templates."

I learned all these things and then it turned out the best way to do this was to just copy/paste a Terribly Happy page into the Blogger template. No muss, just a tiny bit of fuss. So, sorry Mr. ISP guy that I kept calling on his lunch hour to ask if he could enable "Includes" on my domain or at least transfer me to a PHP server. Please feel free to ignore my weird requests in the future.

I'm sure some folks would laugh at the notion that in 2003, I think doing a blog is some kind of new, novel thing.

Yahoo! News - Comic Dangerfield Undergoes Brain Surgery in L.A.

Awwww, get better, Rodney. I'll never forget the LCP road trip we took where we listened to a routine you did in what must have been the early '70s.