At the Texas Conference For Women

9 Nov

Me and another guy standing outside a bathroom:‬

‪”They changed all the bathrooms to women’s.”‬

‪”That’s awesome! But… I really have to go.”‬

‪”Me too.”‬

‪”What do we do?”‬

‪”Well, don’t go in THERE. I know that much.”‬

‪”Maybe there’s one upstairs?”‬

‪”I’ll race you.”‬

H-E-B Thin Special Recipe Chips ranked:

29 Oct

1. Korean BBQ
2. Smoked Gouda
3. Smoked Brisket
4. Italian Sausage & Peppers
5. Skillet Queso
6. Pot Roast

I am available to freelance a 1,000-word article justifying this list.

Review: “Harvey Birdman: Attorney General’

16 Oct

Adult Swim / Cartoon Network

 

For Book and Film Globe, I wrote about Adult Swim‘s triumphant and only sorta-political return of “Harvey Birdman” (for one episode at least).

I have a couple of other reviews on the site, please check it out.

The audacity

11 Oct

This just happened. I’m getting an oil change at an auto dealership. Reading the newspaper. A woman also waiting comes by where I’m sitting with two small empty water bottles and says, “Please tell me you’re recycling these.” After a few seconds I realize she thinks I work here. Ok fine. Understandable mistake.

20 minutes later, she walks back to me, without saying a word, and starts pawing through my stack of newspapers I BROUGHT FROM HOME as I stare at her. She walks off with two sections and sits down. She still has them. I was done with them, but WHAT THE HELL LADY?!

When people ask me what I think the best future business model is for newspapers, I will answer, “monetizing the silent acquisition of newspapers at auto dealerships by bored, presumptuous recycling nuts.”

You can read a whole thread about this here.

Slivermoon

10 Oct

In Vermont

3 Oct

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Travel is a kind of transformational magic where the disorientation of being somewhere else can help you step out of your own skin. At least that's been my experience. . In Vermont I ran my first half marathon. I was dead last out of more than 200 runners but I finished under 3 hours (I am slow) after having only run a 5K before. You can see from the before and after pics how different in felt. . Sometimes I take on more than I think I can handle and surprise myself by just making it through. This was one of those cases — around mile 6 or 7 I didn't think finishing was possible but my coach wouldn't let me give up. I walked a lot and I pushed through back spasms and foot pain and exhaustion. But I made it. . There was also a tough but very rewarding hike up Camel's Hump, a beautiful kayak run, so much cheese and maple syrup and Ben & Jerry's ice cream and OMG the Alchemist beer. I'm not even a beer guy but Vermont has some beer magic happening. . It was beautiful and magical and memorable. And the weather and changing leaves: incredible. I'd like to visit again. . #vermont #halfmarathon #benandjerrys #travel #kayak #hiking

A post shared by Omar L. Gallaga (@omargee) on

Travel is a kind of transformational magic where the disorientation of being somewhere else can help you step out of your own skin. At least that’s been my experience.

In Vermont I ran my first half marathon. I was dead last out of more than 200 runners but I finished under 3 hours (I am slow) after having only run a 5K before. You can see from the before and after pics how different in felt.

Sometimes I take on more than I think I can handle and surprise myself by just making it through. This was one of those cases — around mile 6 or 7 I didn’t think finishing was possible but my coach wouldn’t let me give up. I walked a lot and I pushed through back spasms and foot pain and exhaustion. But I made it.

There was also a tough but very rewarding hike up Camel’s Hump, a beautiful kayak run, so much cheese and maple syrup and Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and OMG the Alchemist beer. I’m not even a beer guy but Vermont has some beer magic happening.

It was beautiful and magical and memorable. And the weather and changing leaves: incredible. I’d like to visit again.