(Showtuney)

Vegas, Vegas, here I come!
Bend over now and spread that bum!
I'm coming soon to plunder you,
At blackjack, craps and roulette, too!
And maybe I'll see a sho-o-ooooow.

Vegas, Vegas, you're so bright!
You blind me good with neon light!
From Lady Luck to Treasure Isle,
Your crassness never lifts my bile.
Just thought you'd like to know-o-oooow.

Vegas, Vegas, prostitutes!
Seniors, low-lifes, destitutes!
But, also tourists by the mile,
And Siegfrieds, Roys, who blast their smile.
I hear more than their show will blow-o-oooow.

Celine Dion and her husband, the inventor of the steam engine.

Vegas, Vegas, large excess!
The haven for corrupt success!
So how come I'm so thrilled inside,
To visit your plush leather hide,
On limo rides I plan to go-o-oooow?

Vegas, Vegas, washed-up names!
Charo, Celine, circus dames!
Eighty bucks for that Blue Man Group?
For that you can have my big blue poop!
Blue bald guys share nary a fro-o-oooow.

Vegas, Vegas, here I come!
Help me bring home a cash lump sum!
I'll talk much nicer flying back,
If my carry-on is a gold-filled sack,
I've got pre-Vegas-late-night-warm glo-o-oooooooooow!

 

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Big pimpin' It always amazes me that people who've known me for this long still don't listen to me when I tell them they should check out Penny Arcade regularly. It's the one site that I make damn sure to visit three times a week that isn't owned by someone I know. It also has the hyphen in its URL that I hear is coming into vogue these days. And that's it. See y'all when I come back with my phat sack of Vegas cash. (Or my linty pants pockets turned inside out in shame.)