08/22/21 -- "2021 calling... are we reaching?"

That's the good news.

The bad news is that life just isn't as enjoyable as it was back then. Even simple things. Remember hamburgers? You can only get them at liquor stores now, and they come with these big huge warning labels.

Everything's organic.

Organic Cheetos. Organic Slim Jims.

It really started to get out of hand when a certain fast food chain became Tacorganic Bell.

I used to love fatty foods. Now, people look at you as if you just dry humped their favorite aunt when you eat a burger in public.

And remember how you used to bitch about how it was the year 2001 and there were still no flying cars? Well, we've got flying cars now, smart guy. But now you can't see the sky because of all the traffic and everything smells like crotch from all the spent jet fuel.

Nothing's funny anymore either since they passed those ethnic joke laws. Here's a little piece of advice: When the Senate Judiciary Committee calls you in to testify against the rest of the Latino Comedy Project, don't do it. That condo in Jamaica they'll offer you has termites and they'll only cover your rent for two months.

But, look, it's not all bad, guy. I mean, I would have jumped off a flying Hyundai a long time ago if it was so terrible.

They cloned Kevin Spacey and now he's in every movie.

They figured out a way to make crack safe and legal. People now use it as a nasal decongestant.

Researchers in conjunction with the adult entertainment industry have created artificial vaginas that are marvels of modern science.

They gave cat owners their own continent so they don't have to bother the rest of us.

George W. couldn't finish his term.

We still have toilet paper, but the system we use now is much less prone to chafing.

Politics are way more fun since they moved the Capitol to Las Vegas.

We beat cancer! But now we have a disease that's much worse, but only if you eat hamburgers.

The sixth season of The Sopranos will be starting any day now!

So buck up, kiddo. It's really not a bad road ahead. Just watch your feet on that path, don't stress out and if you could do me a favor and not get that tattoo in 2006, I'd really appreciate it.

Yours (literally),

Omar 2021